Rainy days

I used to love the thought of a rainy day. We would stay in pajamas all day and snuggle on the couch watching all the cartoons. Rainy days now cause severe anxiety; a deep pain inside my gut. I feel as if I am trapped in the house….this now sad house. During the times of feeling anxious I usually go for a run or pace the yard trying to stop the panic attack. I am not one for medication; not because I think it’s bad; it’s more of a personal choice. Rainy days resemble how I’m feeling inside. The rain is my tears and the dreary dark look is how I see my everyday. It’s hard to find beauty in anything now. I feel a deep sadness that I cannot stop. Everyday I pray this will someday end but I know that’s impossible because my son will not be coming back. Life is hard

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